Mr. Germany
 Germany staring directly at our souls | |
| Other name(s) | Poopinayor |
|---|---|
| Breed | Domestic Shorthair |
| Coat | Brown Tabby |
| Sex | Neutered Male |
| Rarity | Common |
| Occupation | Retired pisser |
| Appearance | Brown tabby with low white spotting and a slightly scraggly look |
| Eye Color | Green |
| Personality | Big balls (not literally) |
| First known sighting |
|
| Relations | |
| Parents | Unknown |
| Siblings | Unknown |
| Partner | None |
| Children | None |
| Other | Mrs. Iceland (possibly his mate) |
Mr. Germany is a cat that frequents the Catman Cafe. He is primarily known for his stomatitis and pissing incidents. He has pissed in the feeder a total of 16 times.
Fortunately for him, sometime around the end of December 2024, he was TNRed and would return looking much healthier (and without balls, of course).
Behavior
His behavior, just like his looks, is shitty ; not because he is mean with other cats, but rather because he had the bad habit of pissing in the Feeder, sometimes even eating the food after the vile act. An interesting fact is that he seemed to favor weekends for these attacks against The Dispenser, although it could also just be because people tend to document and watch the cameras more on these dates. Fortunately for the health of the other visitors, he eventually stopped doing it, although Mr. Portugal would end up picking it up instead, like it's a curse.
Unholy actions aside, he is actually pretty friendly with the other visitors, often sitting alongside them. He hasn't engaged in a single fight with other visitors or even raised a hand in self-defense. This is combined with how he has balls of steel, as he has sat next to Mr. France (a division 1 meany) alongside other fight-prone visitors. He is also not a big fan of getting Snacked, often taking revenge by peeing on the Bowl as a result.
Appearance
He is a somewhat chunky brown tabby with a few white spots, which are at his neck and paws. His stomatitis causes him to look a bit… shitty, and of course, depending on the date, he may look more scraggly than earlier or later sightings.
-
Germany from above
-
Germany from above, tail included
Sightings
June 2024
- June 13, 2024: He would sit patiently waiting for food. Once it arrived, he stood up and started eating it. He would then sit again and then try to leave, but he stopped because another donation arrived, which he proudly ate. Unfortunately for him, he was Snacked, something that he seemed to not like, because he left the Cat House after that. During his stay, he was accompanied by a Snail buddy.
- June 14, 2024: Germany showed up for the second time, looking at the camera with his brainless eyes. After that, suddenly a neuron in his brain clicked, and he realized that he should start eating, which is exactly what he did. After munching for a good while, he decided to lie down calmly and pass the time chilling.
- June 16, 2024: He sat looking at the donated food, and after a hot minute of thinking, started eating. He would be attacked by a kibble donation that landed on his head. He started lying calmly until a snack donation landed at The Dispenser, which he started eating.
- 9 Hours Later: Germany returned and would sit looking at the camera for a long time until he decided to go and eat a bit of Kibble. A few minutes later (around 20-30 mins), he was standing up when Mrs. Iceland came in, sniffed his butt, and left. This would be the first time the Germano-Icelandic friendship was noticed.
- June 20, 2024: Germany ate for a bit, pissed on the food & Ants at The Dispenser and left. This marked the start of Germany's pissing incidents, although they would go mostly unnoticed until the wretched event that happened on July 16.
- 14 Minutes Later: Germany ate for a few minutes until moving his jaw became too tiring, and he sat looking at us through the front camera. This is the day when people realized that he is male (he was frequently called Miss/Ms. Germany before this).
- June 22, 2024: Mr. Germany showed up.
- An Hour Later: Germany appeared again. He would walk up to The Dispenser and smell it a bit, then lie down, and right after that, he moved his body up to the Bowl and began munching.
- June 23, 2024: The German mister appeared and looked sad :(.
- 14 minutes later: he decided to try some of the dispensed food and see if it turned his mood around, but the result was not what he expected: He got angry at the kibble's quality and decided to piss on the food in order to show his discontent.
- 5 and a Quarter Hours Later: Germany returned, with the hope that the food had improved, but was met with the same old kibble. He decided to piss yet again. After his improper behavior, he went for a drink of water but then stopped himself to avoid further disappointment and left. For some reason, he decided to immediatly return after that and ate a bit from the Feeder.
- June 28, 2024: He immediatly sprayed the food and stayed for a good while there looking at a random thing moving behind the curtains while some snot was falling from his nose. He would go on and leave after that, and it is (unfortunately) likely that he accidentally ate his own snot while licking his mouth (I feel sorry for those that have readed this).
- June 29, 2024: He freaking pissed again for no reason. An act of unjustified evil done to the Stray Cat Shed's Dispensing Aparatus. He would then leave the Cat House, although he stayed around the white-colored tarp for a while, his tail seemingly randomly moving. Then, out of nowhere, he Jaunted back to the Feeder and ate a bit of the contaminated food.
July 2024
- July 4, 2024: Germany pissed on the feeder, and right as he turned around, he received a notification: 404: Thought Not Found[1]. He lagged IRL, and pissed yet again. After this incident, which may be real or caused by the recording, Mr. Germany contemplated The Dispenser, pondering about his next actions: “Should I just leave?”, “Should I eat the food I just pissed on?”, “Should I stop this madness of constant peeing?”. He chose the second option and began munching, not knowing that his constant exercise of “muckbanging”[2] would be useful 3 days later. During his eating session, he stood up for a second and then teleported back to munchmaxxing. After a good while of constant eating, he decided to do his favorite passtime that isn't pissing and looked at the camera for another good while.
- July 6, 2024: Germany would go on and be Snacked, something he would NOT like, for he would go on and piss. Unlike yesterday, when he looked at the Bowl he wouldn't see anything other than wasted food. And so he went through the hexagonal tarp, having either regret for ruining a meal or fear in case that when he returns to eat, he is Snacked again.
- July 7, 2024: Mr. Germany would take part in the battle against the recently formed Mount Snack. He would notably pee on the mount after he finished biting on the stack of Chicken treats. He also gained an honorary title for his heroic act of heroism.
- July 8, 2024: Sir Germany of the Cafe pissed on the food, and after that he randomly growled.
- July 9, 2024: Sir Germany peed.
- July 12, 2024 Sir Germany pissed and then sat around. At first, he looked at the camera from afar, but then he realized that looking constantly at a Plastic Bowl is pretty boring, so his vision deterred from the black dot that is the front camera to the outside of the Feeder, observable through the hundreds of beehive-like holes of the curtains.
- July 13, 2024: The Sire ate some Kibble, but it seemed to not satisfy his palate (despite his taste buds being likely rotten away from all the piss infused in the food that he has consumed), so his nervous system decided to take the next step, AKA pee all over the food and dip away. Unfortunately, these actions of turning food into biohazards wouldn't go unpunished, for his title was removed and replaced by a silly nickname.
- July 14, 2024: Mr. Germany, “Destroyer of Snack Mounts”, appeared alongside his probable mate, Mrs. Iceland. He would sit alongside her and look in a random direction. After some time passed and some Kibble donations dropped, he decided to stop sitting, although he would not start fully standing, remaining in a pretty weird position. He stayed like this for a few seconds, likely thinking about if he should or should not leave ; this state of confusion was broken when his tricolored companion, Iceland, sneezed, which caused him to leave, likely in order to avoid catching the flu.
- 3 Hours Later: Mr. Greece decided to hiss at Germany.
- At Another Time: Germany got Snacked, an action that, as seen previously, Germany hates. His little brain's gears started moving, powered by rage, as they commanded the body to turn around and launch the “attack”. After pissing and obtaining his revenge, Germany was left without a command, so he stayed there, waiting for the next order from his cerebellum, which although it was never recorded, likely was to leave the crime scene.
- July 15, 2024: He peed yet again. After the contamination of the food, Germany made the quick-time decision to act like nothing happened, the App being in his favor as it froze and skipped to him acting like a goody-two-shoes that has no idea about what just happened. Then, suddenly, there was a malfunction inside of his inner mechanisms: one of his many circuits sent the wrong signal and told him to eat without sending alongside it any signals of moving up to The Dispenser. Hence, this mistake in the code caused him to suddenly teleport to the Bowl and start eating. After this, the following signal arrived and told him to keep lying down, so he teleported and lay down. Then, it happened again ; the broken clock gave the wrong hour for the 23th time of the day, and just like before, Germany suddenly appeared and started eating.
- July 16, 2024: Germany peacefully ate at the Feeder while Iceland stayed squatting similarly to the Piraeus Lion. All was going well, but then, Germany stopped moving his jaw, moved his body to a 180º angle, and pissed on the food (for reasons you will see later, this is his most infamous and EVIL incident). And thus, Germany's reputation was forever tarnished, thousands of good deeds tainted by an act so wretched and foul that the nickname (that never existed) given to him for his war efforts was revoked as a punishment in an act of justice for his wicked bioterroristic actions against the stomachs of the dozens of cats that visit the “Cafe”. Unfortunately, the tragedy continues on this terror-filled morning of early summer, as his Scandinavian Mate would reach for the Bowl after the villainous German left and started eating. This is likely why Germany and Mrs. Iceland have distanced themselves after this catastrophic culinary disaster.
- July 17, 2024: The recently scolded Germany came over, likely enraged due to the removal of his titles. He sat there, looking at the Snail-filled Dispenser. BC knows why he decided to piss, but what matters is that he did. After his biochemical attack on the horde of Snails, he decided to sit again, observing what he had done.
August 2024
- August 28, 2024: Mr. Germany showed up, his stomatitis clearly worsening, as he now had a pretty poopy face.
September 2024
- September 9, 2024: Germany appeared, sitting in front of The Dispenser similarly to how he had done in one of the previous sightings. A notable incident that happened during his stay was that the Feeder's light flashbanged him.
- September 15, 2024: After Ms. Switzerland left the Cat House, Germany would enter and smell-test the food. It is likely he started eating after that.
October 2024
- October 12, 2024 Germany lay down at the base of the palm tree near the Cat House, simply enjoying the fresh air and cozy atmosphere while sunbathing under the spiky canopy above. There were two cats present at the same time, these being Mrs. France, who was on the opposite side of Germany, and Mr. Belgium, inside the Feeder which is in the middle of both cats.
- 10 minutes passed by, and Germany's brain received a message from his stomach: “Hey bro, give me some food!”. Thus, he elevated his belly, started moving his brown-tainted tabby legs, went up to the Bowl, and started munching down on the donated treats. He decided to stay at the Feeder, as he didn't want to walk the 0.25m distance in between the Stray Cat Feeder and the palm tree. Around that time, his stomatitis instincts kicked in, making him stare soullessly into the camera, just like how Türkiye would do during his arc at The Auspicious Restaurant. He would keep up his brainless behavior for most of the remaining hour of his stay, occasionally standing up or changing his position. During the sixty minutes he spent looking at the camera, a cat (probably Mr. France) would come over and peek at Germany out of curiosity, and was met by even more confusion when discovering that he was simply staring at The Dispenser.
- October 14, 2024: Germany showed up, having a poopy face (that damned stomatitis demon acting up again).
March 2025
- March 1, 2025: The Caretaker was fed up by the antics of that stupid stomatitis and decided to take action themselves, as Germany had little to no way of stopping it. During the 5-month hiatus, in which the less informed international viewers even thought he could've passed away, Germany's condition would significantly improve, and his balls would be gone thanks to a TNR procedure. After this massive health glow-up, he came back triumphantly, without any poopy faces or stomatitis soup. Although he has almost fully gotten rid of the stomatitis, he still has kept the habit of staring at the camera, although this time he looked like he had thoughts behind those olive eyes instead of soullessly looking at a recording device with 2 viewers.
- March 26, 2025: Germany came over, looked at our souls, and then decided that it wasn't worth looking any more at the viewer's inner spirits and left.
(Not every cat sighting is documented.)
(LFT = "Local Feeder Time")
Gallery
-
Germany after losing a brain cell
-
Germany thinking very seriously (they lost a brain cell and are taking a bit longer than usual)
-
The silly! p:
-
Blepping yet again!
-
Snack attack!!!
-
Germany and his Mate
-
Germany leaving after Mrs. Iceland sneezes (social distancing) (GIF)
-
The random moving shadow (GIF)
-
Germany
-
Mr. Germany observing the outside carefully
-
Germany side-eyeing the audience
-
Germany glitching and bugging out irl (GIF, EPILEPSY WARNING)
-
The light of an angel
-
Germany, Mrs. Austria and Mr. Belgium, all peacefully chilling
-
Silly Germany thinks he's a lion
-
He is desperately trying to stay awake
